Know Your Status
At age 42 I found myself questioning if having a baby was going to happen. I have never tried to get pregnant. So I made an appointment at a local fertility clinic to get answers. I had a hard time with this particular doctor. We did not connect. And I was not ready for the news I was about to hear. Going into this workup I expected IVF to be the worst case scenario. I was expecting something along the lines of hurry up, but you are good for natural conception. This doctor looked at my AMH (anti-mullerian hormone) and my ovarian follicle count and insisted that I must use a donor egg. WHAT?! So the child would be completely not related to me. Well this threw me into a tailspin. I was confused, frustrated, angry, ok, very angry, and lost. Why was my expectation so far from reality???
Ladies, I am hear to tell you, do not listen to anyone who says "you are young, you have time." And realize these celebrities who are having kids later ages might not be using their own eggs. Sure you can have a child later in life if you are okay with using a donor egg. And there are always exceptions to the rule. GO FIND OUT! Get a fertility workup if you are in your 30's and wanting to wait.
I have learned that many people I know have embarked on the IVF journey. The thing is, we just don’t talk about it. So that person you know who has a child later in life might not be a good model to focus on because you don’t know what steps they took to get there. Now I am not saying its not possible, I am just saying do not assume.
My hope is that what I write helps to guide you on an informed path that is best for you. I would like to encourage more women to talk about reproductive health, including miscarriages. There is such a stigma around a women’s reproductive health. We are in 2022 this aspect of your health should not define you as a person or make you bad juju if you have fertility difficulties. We know more about science than that, right?
The news that I received from the first doctor sent me into a little depression dip. It wasn't until months later a friend really encouraged me to seek out another medical group that was touted as the best. I did a little bit of digging on this medical group. They have offices in several states they are the OG's in reproductive medicine!!! The best. So I made a consultation appointment!!
My first appointment was a phone call. WOW. This doc had/has the absolute BEST bedside manner. So kind, patient, encouraging but honest. I completely understood the picture he painted and this had hope! He slowly explained the next steps he felt made sense for me. Next up was the in person assessment. For this group it was a one day workup. So, I bought a plane ticket.
Did you know??
Your AMH (anti-mullerian hormone) is a blood test that gives a ballpark estimate for how many eggs you has left. This hormone is released by the ovarian follicles. Remember this is just an estimate. This lab can also be applied in PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome).
